A very private person I am.

Intensely private bellied by the guise of openness?(if it makes sense)

IN PLAINSPEAK: But as open minded and wanting to be free as I am, I'm as closed and stubborn as I can be



IN PLAINER SPEAK: OPEN BUT NOT OPEN whatever



Oxymoronic but well..


Never did feel safe about setting up my blog.. my on-line diary of sorts sharing with people (I know and don't know) my feelings and thoughts...

hmmm...BIG BROTHER..y'know..

Then why did I start one up...honestly I don't know..

Just felt like doing something really spontaneous for a change..hahha

Been reading other people's Blog's ..having a voyeuristic view on their lives..makes me really wonder the TRUENESS of it all.. it seems all like a FARCE ..a playground of sorts for us mere mortals to socialise,get constructive critisism, pandering for our egos, basically sharing our lives.....our INNER US that is easier to be projected on a computer screen than through words and our daily mindless existence in this mundane secular world..all usually not on whim and fancy but..ON PURPOSE..

-like accidentally revealing your hatred for a certain something/someone/somewhatever ON PURPOSE

-like accidentally revealing your love for a certain something/someone/somewhatever ON PURPOSE

-like presenting your exhibitionist tendencies ON PURPOSE

-like revealing your egoistic nature and narcissism ON PURPOSE

-like presenting your wit and intelligence/ goofiness and dumbness ON PURPOSE

-SHARING YOUR LIFE STORY putting down thoughts on events or on mindless ramblings..on how boring/interesting/uneventful/special/monotonous/lovely/ gratifying/enthralling/routinous/beautiful/anesthesized/ sour/exceptional/ forlorn...yadayadablahblah

....and YES..you got it...ON PURPOSE

EVERYTHING DONE IN YOUR LIFE HAS A PURPOSE..whether the consequences are positive negative or neutral..

*that was the skeptic in me talking*

Though I did mention that I find it a farce of sorts you know all this blogging and xanga-ing and yadayada business...

Hey I did not say I ain't GUILTY of it all...

damn... SELF REVELATION LEADS TO SELF CONDEMNATION..

BUT truly most people (myself included)just want to share a bit of their lives.. no matter how they might describe it as.. makes us feel less alone than we already are..self reassurance stance..having strength in numbers that kinda stuff..

That's enough for a first post I guess...ME THE RAMBLER...of random thoughts that spew out..