The rambling escapist with clipped wings

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Am back.....

It's been awhile since I blogged. Yes I blog for work but it doesn't count. And I don't get to ramble. Rather I still do but its just less rambly. What inspired me to come back??
I dunno really.. i was just blog hopping just now and I miss just making sense out of nonsense, writing snippets of poetry, prose and putting them in a store room.

Since I started writing for a living, I've not written about my life. But rather written about peoples' lives.
It's a lonely thing. Writing.
You're like a voyeur. Observing looking into people's life and affairs. And you hope you never get written about because people would see how empty you are.

Maybe it's just me. Am just a tugboat running on empty.

I am a commitment phobe. I am pretty sure I've said that before. Thats why i never complete things even though i know they are important or helpful to me.
Or maybe I am the sort that doesn't like endings.

Even if they are happy endings.

Is this fear of endings a result of my fear of commitment. Or are my fears a result of ending a commitment.

Simply because I don't want it to end?

Ailsa said that am Type A when it comes to work and Type B when it comes to life.

Is that a good thing I don't know. But it ties back to commitment again. I procrastinate when I need to make a decision. Not all the time but well most times.

Ok so yes I ramble. I have off tangent thoughts all the time even as I type this out.

I need to head back to real work, somehow I gotta churn it out tonight. And I have chuch tmr.

Oy vey. (That's Jewish hmmm is that considered blasphemy)

Nights to all.