The rambling escapist with clipped wings

Thursday, October 28, 2004

O_o

I hate to admit it or rather come to a realization as I was packing my room. I have read more in this past one half month than the last half year.
MAN..Think of all the monies MPH Borders and Kino are earning from me.
Fountain Head
Anthem
Bombay Ice
DaVinci Code
A Short History of nearly everything
Dark Winter
Pattern Recognition

The Skull of Charlotte Corday
The Time
Traveller's Wife (finishing soon maybe tonight..not what i expected..so far not bad.. sappy :lol:
One of them Peter Carey's books would be next..
If only all them pages can be transpormed in wads of bills..o_O
I ain't complaining..weirdly I am happy and comforted when i smell the pages of them books. (okie SOME ARE REAL NASTY and they usually give papercuts especially our texts)
BUTBUTBUT..
It just highlights a stark fact.Self revelation.
I AM A GEEK.
And hence self condemnation.
I NEED A LIFE.

SIGH~
______________
Time for some flufffyflufffluff
Dearies..I went to the airport again today..I had my SPICY SALMON MAKI and EDAMAME.. *beams*
But the nori was so dry that on my first bite it got stuck on my lower lips and it bled. Craziness eh..Oh well~
OOOoooh I was involved in industrial espionage..kinda.. Taking pics of the other camp's exhibition *glups*

I got a couple of CDs for my Bday too..WHOOPEE!!
Joss Stone..her voice*faints*,
Ella Fitz and Louis Armstrong*faints* BIGBAND!!
Jacky Cheung.. his voice *melts*
Fish Leong her voice *melts*
Thanks Chewies and Vic.

PS: Christmas is coming eh~. *coughs* Chronicles of Narnia and His Dark Materials series would be nice.
HEY AM KIDDING...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Soggy Silly me thanks all.

Thanks dearies for the greetings..I was pleasantly surprised.
*BIG HUGS* Feeling better too.
With your well wishes..I'll live on the coming year with grace. I hope.
And Cherisse needs a lil prodding when it comes to remembering birthdates..hhehe.. you guys should know by now

Also remind me to get numbers from you guys..been getting weird messages from weird people..one example..Florence Lim from East Lake APA??
I do know a Florencce Teo from Westlake and we weren't exactly the best of friends..sick joke eh~
o_O
_______________
Sometimes things happen...it just hits you TwacK!
Like a GIGANTIC cold and soggy piece of Onde Onde sticky and with the gula melaka oozing out. (btw i hate that stuff) Not a pretty sight and not a nice feeling too. I don't like it.


Sigh~ hmm..it never should have begun i guess..
It's weird and unsettling somehow..someway. I don't like what's happening. I know I don't matter. But still I don't like being pushed away,brushed off and left hanging..sorta..not exactly either.
GAH.. Doesn't matter~ I am afterall a babbling insufferable idealist.
That exists somewhere in time? Somewhere at least i think. Tooowooooomba ~shrugs~

But do I?
Exist.

__________________
A sidenote on existence
Hmm...
A person is defined greatly by the accumulation of memories and experience.
True.
Hence, this is to say my existence from your point of view is based on your memories.
But people forget.

So then I cease to exist.

SWEET.
________________
A pretty quirky..weirdy entry yet again..but just a random babble (Courtesy of Chlorpheniramine,Bontacid and whatever colorful crap they're feeding me)
*yawnz* Its just me eh lol~
The soggy silly me.
*sneezes*





Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Universal Truth.

Honesty to thyself is the most painful ordeal.
Yet the easiest.And the hardest.

The truth hurts.
The truth will hit hard.

But will it then be too late?

But then again..
The self is to blame as blindness is a choice,
For Love is blind,
It is an immutable and universal truth.


Ouch.
But we live. Life goes on.

But for some it doesn't.


Friday, October 08, 2004

My human failings are too glaring...

It's been a long time eh..we haven't spoken for such a long time.
Funnily you always called when I needed someone most. I have been running away for so long..too long..I have been too selfish eh..
Time for me to do what i ought to do long time ago. I could do so much to change.. but now after so long an absense..hmm i really don't know.
Time for me to grow.. no wait i am grown up, no more excuses, no more whining.. taking it all in stride and as a learning experience for me to grow.
I have been to close minded not to think of these trivialities as little trials that i have to go though to make it me..uniquely weirdly me.
But have I known all the time and chose not to seee it in that perspective.
just because i was too selfish and self centred or gumbly just because i did not like to be taken for granted and under appreciated.

JUST LIKE OTHERS.. they want to be appreciated and not taken for granted too..as people reach out to me i should reach out too..I haven't been the best friend hhahah..My friends get it worst from me.. Brutally honest and when it doesnt hit.. i just move on..
I should learn to look back eh..Brutally non-chalent too i am..

I shall strive to be a better friend.

I mentioned this before.. Don't have too much expectations of people.. they are bound to fail you..(and i never ever did practise what i preach eh..most of the time.)
And many people live by different ideologies.
Mine perhaps is of the selfish kind.Cos sometimes.. I have failed many people too when they have expectations of ME. Or rather there are some things that are implicit yet is always there.

Perhaps as you said..She might be the strongest one of all.
That I am to guide her..??hmmm..
My human failings are still too glaring..too weak too cowardly too selfish too scared.
Who and how am i to guide.
Ahh Cherisse is rambling wooohoooo..
Yes it is my trademark..*stamps*

"Silence just speaks forth more at times, just that quiet mutal "

And if i did WHATEVER I WANTED.. the whole world would be a crazy place hahhaha*rubs palms* MUAHHHAHAHA


I am tired i really dunno whzt what i rambled..
Your fault o\_/o"


* edited this morning after reading hahha did you know i feel asleep right after hiting post..sleepy Cherisse no good..lol

Thursday, October 07, 2004

THE BIG WHAT IF..The one that got away....

A very long random post today..

NO MORE NO MORE ..
What an important nonsense.. a rite of passage.. a neccessity/ an obligation that is seen to be the all-oh-so important by the masses and society.. a measure of how successful your life has been..If I had no debts to pay no family to support ,nobody to answer to..I would run and escape in the depths of my tortured soul and dwell in that for all eternity. I believe I am capable of that. ROTTING. It is moments like this I really wish there was a rich old man to provide for everthing..lol

NO MORE NO MORE..i ain't gonna talk about it no more.
____________________
And Yes Dearie.. the BIG WHAT IF..
Our lives are ruled by it eh~

What if..*sigh*
I do hate it.. don't you.. Makes one seem powerless, helpless..
Yes the choice is of your power..
the desired outcome too maybe ..to a certain extent..
So for that moment things go your way
But what if the next moment it all changes...

What if..
_____________________

Found this in one of my old folder of nice soppy memories.. from an email a friend sent..

One of the Biggest "What if's" in many people's lives..
You should be free from this but..oh well..

Soppy things in soppy feeling days make you soppily soppier.. but who cares..you're too sopped to resist being made even soppier... WOAH I DID SAY THAT..WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME...

It's long yah..

"The One that got away"
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on apedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone,finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner,it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the personyou're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different,you finally understand who you are and what you want, and youhave become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you,there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.
All you know is that you've changed,and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is.
The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a"might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probablybring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're oldand gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different.
What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away"
Means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?
Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won'tmake a difference.
If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone,"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

*bows*

I have been pretty bitter lately.. Thanks for listening to my rants..

I really appreciate it..
If I do get on your nerves (as I do often get a lil time lapse before I get irritated with me..)
Feel free to ask me to SHUT UP.. no offense will be taken.

I guess Depession hates loneliness and likes company.. you guys steer clear lest it spreads.

Happiness is said to be the remedy for this malady.. but now, for the time being..
Happiness has gone for a vacation. But I believe she'll be back. Afterall Fortune's Wheel turns.

But when and why.. I have no idea..I will do a little celebratory smile for her when she returns.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I.. I..







*sigh*

...I'll Live.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

IT WILL BE COLD WEAR A JACKET..

A funny incident happened today.

You guys have seen my mom. Small tanned petite. And yes she definitely doesn’t look her age.
You guys have seen my dad. Round, fair and short. And well he doesn’t really look his age either.

But my Grandma calls my Dad OLD MAN.
This is his mentality.

My mom giggles and squeals
(Oh well..sometimes..she does.. she’s not all tyrannical :lol:)
This is her mentality.

So today they were to go to a wedding.. some family friend’s son.

Full Shot:
Camera tilts up to My Mom.
60s retro looks colour lilac and pink halter top and dark pants… and Pale lilac heels.

Absolutely sexy..With her long wild hair and make-up..
(If I aged like her..Cherisse would be a happy girl. *crosses fingers*)

Full Shot:
Camera pans to My Dad.
Dark Burgundy red top that MY MOM bought for him and black pants..and a pair of Clee shoes I bought for him from the States.
Dark hair and his rosy Cheeks.
(Looks weirdly like a Japanese Ojichan you see on the streets walking dogs in the park.)

BUT..
Camera zooms nearer:
He is wearing a cotton undershirt under his Burgundy top that is extremely obvious..now he has been conferred status as an OJIICHAN(notice the double iis)
*SLAPS FOREHEAD*

But that was not the main thing.
Flashback to 10 minutes earlier
Dad lies on the bed watching Channel U news, then he looks up with a look of discomfort at mom, I was putting on mascara for her as she always smudges her lids.

Dad: “ Eh.. Why must put so much make up..and you not cold ah”
Mom: “Where got a lot.. extra mascara only, Chinese restaurant not cold..sure very stuffy”

Happily mom dresses up. Smiles and all. Tries on a few jackets and shawls to go with her top. NONE FIT.. AWFUL MATCH.
Best if she just wore the top without any coverage. Decides to go just like that.

Flashfoward to Mom frowning as she sees Dad’s attire.

Mom: “Why must wear the top inside..like Ah Pek”
Dad: “Itchy Lah”

And he goes on to spray perfume.. MY MOM’S PERFUME..

Mom: “Why you spray women’s perfume.. we got that one for your birthday..Why you don’t use”
Dad: “So smelly. Not nice. I don’t like”

At this juncture..it is obvious to see that my dad is trying to be “funny” too free..finding trouble. My mom was obviously not happy as the perfume that we got him was expensive and nice smelling, and my dad was dragging time and being extremely slow in getting ready.
Finally dad is ready and they were about to leave the house.

Dad firmly:” IT WILL BE COLD WEAR A JACKET”
Mom: NO! Don’t Want.
Dad went downstairs leaving Mom at the door.
Mom storms in visibly agitated.
Mom: GRRR…YOUR STUPID DAD KEEP ASKING ME TO WEAR JACKET.

Then they left..
Vic came to me and said, the same thing happened the last time when you were not in Singapore and when they were celebrating my Grandma’s birthday. My mom was wearing the exact same top.
My dad insisted that my mom cover up.

These little things make me laugh.
After all these years old couples still have their insecurities.

Haha.. My dad should be happy.. that my mom still looks that good for her age..BUT NO..
IT WILL BE COLD WEAR A JACKET…

Friday, October 01, 2004

Airport Musings Part Deux

Singaporeans are a bunch of cheapskates.. if they know that something is for free they would wanna get it.

1)Situation1: Spend 80 bucks and get a mystery free gift.

They would try their bestest to chalk up that amount in one receipt to get the FREE GIFT..
Regardless of what it is and what they spend on.
If all they need is like 5 bucks to reach the bare minimal, they would get something that costs 5 bucks in the airport that would normally cost less than a dollar outside.

AND Yet they complain when the taxi-driver short-changes them of 10cents.

"Just now ah.. when I was taking a cab yah.. And I gave him 10 dollars you know.. AND I WAITED FOR A WHILE.. Hmmp the taxi Driver actually wanted to cheat my money you know..Did not want to give me back my change. 10 cents is not money ah..EVERY CENT counts okie"

Taxi Ride $9.90..
Bill given $10..

GAH *slaps forehead*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2) Situation 2 Airport staff..never be too nice to them lest they take advantage of the situation..aka ITS FREE WHAT!!

"EEYY..ChangE..Chi Bao le mah?? Aiyo..hen xin ku Orh.."
Translated: ChangE have you eaten. Hard work yah.."

Cherisse thinks:And the vultures they attack..with feigned concern

"Wo you lai le.. *smiles apologetically*
Translated: Here I am again

Cherisse thinks: Isn't it obviousO_o Aren't your legs tired from the walk to my booth??

"My colleague dare not come over. Here are the receipts..What is nice ah.."

Cherisse thinks: This is like your 100th time to the booth..even with loose bowels I don't run to the loo that often


"Can don't draw not.. you give me what you have la..."

Cherisse thinks: That was rhethorical.. you would insist no matter what i say..

"The yellow colour is nicer.. aiyah this receipt for $800 bucks let me have more draws okie"*smiles sweetly*

Cherisse thinks:If you smiled any sweeter.. i would hit you hard..I mean HARD..yes HAARRDD"

"Bye..Wo deng yi xia hui lai..Xie Xie ah Chang E"
Translated: "Bye..I'll be back later..Thanks ChangE"

Cherisse thinks: Yes..yes..No doubt about about it..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What is happening to me..Cherisse mean MEAN..

Bad company BAD..

*GLARES*



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