hmmm just transffered all these from somewhere.....Pretty recent entries...

Silence give me the rest that I need

From the madness, sadness

Reality. Grim.

Darkens the already dark room that I am in.



Pain erodes you inside

Gnawing to let you know that you are alive.

Alive is a state of imbalance.

Irony.

You are alive yet DEAD.



It hangs it does when you are alone

Searching aimlessly.

Groping for the last shred of humanity there is.

Only that there isn’t

Emptiness.

Just a hollow. Nothing.





The expired get forgotten trampled

On the frosty cement that swallows

Sinks deep into the depths of defeat.

They cry screaming.



I am defeated.

Truly I am, when I do nothing.

Because the futility gets to me.

This revelation though as hopeless as it seemingly is.



Cos changes don’t mean anything,Yet everything.

Cyclical or Eternal

Tumbling weed, crushed senseless

Scentless.

Nothing can make me weep.



For now there is Peace. When I know that.

I don’t mean anything.

Just read a little about the Unborn victims bill...Americans are taking this RIGHTS THINGY a little too far...Although i cannot say i am truly PRO-life but..THE HYPOCRISY really gets to me...

It is soooooo ironical that.. soo much attention and RiGHTS are given to unborn babies but prejudice, myopicness still exists in relation to the coloured people... I MEAN the hypocrisy of it all...grrrr.......its so...farce-like so fake-o..SO...

Well as Tim said..it is the white babies that matter...OH SO TRUE hahaha...Rights are extended to the embryos and they are usually White Christian clump of cells..(that MADE ME SOUND EVIL and UNFEELING )

All these HOOOO-HA to these..zyogte(sp) and BOO-BOO to the living form in all glory...Coloured glory no doubt..

The fundamentalists (usually white) that are not for abortion...what about other things more pressing to consider ABOUT THE OTHER AMERICANS alive and kicking thatare being subjucated, marginalized, working in sweatshops, selling their bodies to live..just trying to survive..(OKIE NOW I SOUND RACIST)

What about a lady who was raped...by a group of gangsters..people that violated her physically mentally morally... that she have to carry the brunt of their senseless joke..whim..of sexual excesses that was released via brutality towards her...

What about a married lady caught in a loveless...thankless marriage.. that she knows her drunk husband would not come home with money.. would wallop hera nd her many children.. and rape her if she does not give in to copulation...the little zygote in her would come into a world of pain no doubt...

THEN...yet bound by LAW..she has to bring that "mistake" not of her own seeking..that spawn of the whoever and whatever whenever where ever it became a form...

Just my thoughts on war..it can continue but no one wants to read them anyhow...

Cos I am sure WE all feel the same...unless Bush Osama, Sadaam and other tyranical people are reading....

There is NO JUST WAR..whatever they might theorize and claim...

War happens when the people decide that they need peace and use violence to get it

War is when man are selfish and only want things THEIR WAY...

War makes jokes of us man...mere canon fodder and people to operate our high tech weaponry that suggests our military might

War lets us see the futility of it all.. the transcience and fragility of life..

War is a game where our fates are dictated by those who rule..

War is when life is trivialized..low casualty on OUR side doesnt make it more valid and less horrible.

War occurs when CHANGE is wanted...when ignorance is HEIGHTENED and MAN ARE FOOLS and ego-centricness at its best


"Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose"

So tired of hearing about wars..but yet the futility of it all

Was just letting my fingers go free this morning..

There..ramblings you have it...

__________

The heart is unknown and unfeeling

the dark is unseen unheard

we donî–¹ see the hurt and the suffering

we ask ourselves about ourselves.

Everything is undercover and hidden

in the drapes of hypocrisy, the yards and yards of hatred

and malcontent snipped off by the blade

is impossible and has yet to happen

under this shroud of happiness and excesses,

the world of cornucopia and mammon we live

We lack nothing Yet everything in this material world

_____________



Bubbles immaterial

The glossy eyes shines back

like the beaming headlights of the trailer truck

escape we do from the glare into the familiar darkness

the shimmery tinkleyness of the lightness

the crash is helped by the hardness of reality

Pain no, the pain is not felt

floating we are staring from above

Little tiny inconsequestial bubbles

I burst a few

Shiny happy globules shiny shimmery

So hollow. Empty

_____________



The swaying of the branches in the dark of the night

The cold of the wind that chills like piercing glass

A silent scream is felt unheard

A pain deep in the depths of the unfeeling heart

The eyes are seemingly unmoving dark and mysterious

The deep the deep the deep

In the richness of the swirl pulled deepdeepdeep

There.

Do I really care what labels are placed atop my head by friends.. elders etcetc..

As much as I like being socially agreeable and accepted into the LOVING arms of my peers..most of the time I do as I like and HOPEFULLY have not made any MAJOR enemies..

I try to be as true as my natural impluses lead me..

But that's JUST ME..

Hmmmm..You know.. Labels really do stick on you...I did not know how harshly it can affect a person..especially an extremely defensive one....until..TODAY..

Especially unfavourable Labels like SLOW..STOOPID..etc...It becomes a self manifesting prophecy..and the child grows to fear in the presense of the tyrant making these remarks making the child BUNGLE more..

The social stigma that comes about after that..leaves a dark imprint on the delicate and sensitive psyche of the youngsters..

Disrupts the balance that is needed for any learning to take place.

Tis a social responsibilty issue...a very heavy responsibility the educator has to assume for many tiny molehills have the potential to become mountains...

The methods used to push a child to advance..to progress is very important and should be customized towards each individual, Each child is different. If critisizing works on one it might not work for another.

Unless you are able to be free from biasness and not place preconceptual ideas on the personality of each individual based on some isolated incident, DON'T BE A CHILD EDUCATOR..

You will hurt some child...and as much as you hate to admit or choose to be in a state of denial because of your high-handed, egoistical sadistic ways, and lack of love obviously...for being caustic and impatient.

Child educators should not place labels on Kids.Period

A very private person I am.

Intensely private bellied by the guise of openness?(if it makes sense)

IN PLAINSPEAK: But as open minded and wanting to be free as I am, I'm as closed and stubborn as I can be



IN PLAINER SPEAK: OPEN BUT NOT OPEN whatever



Oxymoronic but well..


Never did feel safe about setting up my blog.. my on-line diary of sorts sharing with people (I know and don't know) my feelings and thoughts...

hmmm...BIG BROTHER..y'know..

Then why did I start one up...honestly I don't know..

Just felt like doing something really spontaneous for a change..hahha

Been reading other people's Blog's ..having a voyeuristic view on their lives..makes me really wonder the TRUENESS of it all.. it seems all like a FARCE ..a playground of sorts for us mere mortals to socialise,get constructive critisism, pandering for our egos, basically sharing our lives.....our INNER US that is easier to be projected on a computer screen than through words and our daily mindless existence in this mundane secular world..all usually not on whim and fancy but..ON PURPOSE..

-like accidentally revealing your hatred for a certain something/someone/somewhatever ON PURPOSE

-like accidentally revealing your love for a certain something/someone/somewhatever ON PURPOSE

-like presenting your exhibitionist tendencies ON PURPOSE

-like revealing your egoistic nature and narcissism ON PURPOSE

-like presenting your wit and intelligence/ goofiness and dumbness ON PURPOSE

-SHARING YOUR LIFE STORY putting down thoughts on events or on mindless ramblings..on how boring/interesting/uneventful/special/monotonous/lovely/ gratifying/enthralling/routinous/beautiful/anesthesized/ sour/exceptional/ forlorn...yadayadablahblah

....and YES..you got it...ON PURPOSE

EVERYTHING DONE IN YOUR LIFE HAS A PURPOSE..whether the consequences are positive negative or neutral..

*that was the skeptic in me talking*

Though I did mention that I find it a farce of sorts you know all this blogging and xanga-ing and yadayada business...

Hey I did not say I ain't GUILTY of it all...

damn... SELF REVELATION LEADS TO SELF CONDEMNATION..

BUT truly most people (myself included)just want to share a bit of their lives.. no matter how they might describe it as.. makes us feel less alone than we already are..self reassurance stance..having strength in numbers that kinda stuff..

That's enough for a first post I guess...ME THE RAMBLER...of random thoughts that spew out..