I gotta say this..
My brother is an effing dumbarse but I must say he is effing creative.
He wrote a bloody letter and presented it to my mom. And this letter I am gonna share with you guys. And trust me after reading it I dunno whether to laugh or to cry. He is such a irritating piece of shit I tell ya
Gosh I feel like going over to his comatose sleeping body (just cos he quarrelled with mom again after windowshopping. He refuses to have his dinner and went to his room to sleep.) I so wanna walk over and stomp on his crazy head and strangle him now.
I gotta justify this.
As strict as she is. As many things that I don't understand about her. As restrictive as she is at time (ok most of the time.)
And not just cos she has my bloglink and I am not allowed to write anything bad about her and much less swear.
My mom is the sweetest thing ever she saves like crazy to give us what we want.
Trips presents etc. We ain't rich but we have everything. I'm used to hand me downs, I eat last nights dinner for lunch or for dinner again. It's just that this dumbarse is a freaking emo shithead and thinks underwise. Effing Spoilt brat. He should be contented and be ashamed that he even thinks of such.
If I were as self-sacrificing as her I should be made a saint now. Nuff said.
Why can't the bro see that..
Oh yea he can't see past his own GLOW.. too holy..too good for this damn family, too self sacrificing..too SELF SUFFERING.. Everybody say AWWWwww
Sorry Mom if you happen to see this and think that I am washing dirty linen in public but this work from an effing genius is too good not to share. If I were you I would be too heartbroken. (If you arent already) But you never say anything you just sigh and ask me to keep quiet and still you're defending him. Even now.
Such is the power of love.
But that arse doesnt see it.
To clarify:
1) He lost his ipod twice. Once in the loo the other time apparently some one stole it.Someone from the class but he was tooo myopic and chicken shit to stand up to suggest that they do a search.
2) Hell my mom buys stuff for us. He thinks she is rich and she oughts to buy stuff for him when they head out
3) He doesn't understand the idea of common property and sharing.
4)He doesn't understand or see that he has an expensive hobby. and conveniently leaves them out in the letter.
Overclocking his comps and getting new gadgets and stuff like headphones LCD screens what other shit he blows up.
I think he should be made President. Cos all of them are arses, selfish, stupid, selfcentred and yea Brilliantly Dumb.
I took the effort to retype this junk. So take the effort to finish it.
___________________________________________________
Dear Greg,
Mum will be presenting you a iPOD this Christmas!
You are gonna love it! Isn’t this what you’re after?
There is nothing wrong with this note, The printer is cranky.
--Insert a box with really fine print---
Have a lovely Christmas Sweetheart
God Bless!
Your Loving Mum!
25/12/2005
_______________________
Extra notes when enlarged (Discovered on 30/11/06)
However there are terms and conditions that you will have to know yeah? They are quite relaxed in my opinion.
Terms and Conditions:
1) It is a one year contract that you have to adhere to at all times. There is no way you can break th agreement. The free gift that comes with this would be the APPLE iPOD 60GB (srp:$650) Hurray! (You will have to pay a fraction of it about 200 as I wont have enough money to pay a fraction of it, about $200 as I wont have enough money to pay the hefty cost of it but the annual savings that I will get eventually, in detail below would be more than sufficient to make up for the short term loss.)
2) You’ll be deprived of your material needs till the end of the following year, or forever.
3) The last item you’ll receive from me would be the MAMBO bad that will be present to you on Feb/March.
4) You won’t get a shoe from me this year even if the sole is totally worn out or has holes in them- go beg your brother for one.
5) Read this carefully- I wont be getting you ANY and I mean ANY clothes since your body frame is apparently a duplicate of NICHOLAS and thus you can use his.
6) Do consider that fact that you might not have the opportunity to put on the clothes NICHOLAS has as:
i) They might not fit
ii) He wouldn’t allow you to wear(rare occurrence)
iii) He wears it all the time and it’s always in the laundry basket
iv) Overly SENSITIVE you might think that he will he wearing it the day after and decide not to wear them
v) You are fearful of being known as the person who “WEARS-EVERYTHING-NICHOLAS-OWNS” including undergarments and accessories.
7)Don’t expect to have the same treatment NICHOLAS had or has as you are from INNOVA- you dumb-fuck!
8)You can only get your PROM outfit only if NICHOLAS demands it. Unfortunately, you can only dream of such a privilege since NICHOLAS has already graduated from school so you can go day-dream for all I care ;P
9) As an alternative you can put on NICHOLAS’S new OFFICE WEAR for prom night(I don’t give a shit about the theme.. what ht fuck is masquerade?) However, this is subjected to availability as
i) NICHOLAS might have worn it the day before and it stinks now
ii) It’s still in the laundry basket
iii)NICHOLAS might coax you into thinking you look awful in the outfit
iv)You might have a fight the night before over this issue and PETTY you may not be THICK-SKINNED enough to ask him again for a loan.
10) You have to get your own tie. No ties provided till NICHOLAS buys them. You can wear the school tie if you are desperate enough… and wait! The savings you have in there? You can use them for all I care yeah? We know you are never successful at saving money due to such stringent agreements.
11) Thus, window shopping will never happen to please you since you wouldn’t get anything anyway. Besides window shopping might aggravate the situation as you are only allowed to view items but not own them.
12) I will try to make you feel better by saying that you might be doing better than NICHOLAS for A’s though it will never be the case as you are from INNOVA! Dumbfuck!
13) I will be adopting the used-and-proven tactic of pleasing you only after you are deprived of certain things you want. For example, I will try to make you feel better by saying that I’m more than willing to sponsor you to UK for an overseas EDUCATIONAL trip when the trip is over as I, apparently, never heard of it.
14) You’ll be coaxed into signing another year of contract by the temptation to have a PC upgrade of which you might not be interested in since you are going to be enlisted soon in January 11 2007. Even if you do, please do that whine that you won’t get to use it- everything is catered to NICHOLAS who will be reaping the benefits of the new PC eventually/
15)To make the bitter pill easier for consumption, I will put up with your rants and complaints. I’ll treat you to a luxurious meal once in two months too.
Total Value=$999,999,999)
This is a computer generated contract and no signature is required to authorize this agreement. Besides I know you are foolish enough to fall into this trap.
